Broken
by fieryflight
Summary: Two days after the fight with Himura that broke him Soujiro embarks on his own journey of truth.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Two days after his fight with Himura which broke him Soujiro is about to embark on his journey of finding his own truth.

A/N: Hello people while this isn't my first fic im still relatively new at writing. Just recently watched RKagain and i couldn't help but dothis.Soujiro is my favourite character out of the whole show. while its an old plot hopefully im approaching a new angle i havent worked out the story yet. just that reading quite a number of soujiro fiction its seems to me that people tend to turn him into a kenshin no2 with both of them having the same ideals at the end of the fic. i havent settled for a particular truth for soujiro therefore while writing this fic i intend to inquire into what would be the truth for soujiro as he travels and meets up with different people. anyway enough rambling hope you enjoy it.

disclaimer: i dont own rurounin kenshin.

* * *

Chapter 1

Sounds of soft steps laced the winds in this quiet night. A light crunch was heard as the person walking made his way to the riverbank. Slowly moving to the water's edge he squats reaching in the water scooping some and splashing it on his face. As the ripples in the water calms he looked at the image reflected in the mirror. The silly grin is still on his face. However it's a little different. Rather than the usual wide tightlipped smile plastered on his face, this one looks a little twisted, crooked in that sense.

Soujiro closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

"Things sure have been twisted around," Soujiro said aloud to himself.

Suddenly shaking of leaves coming from a bush could be heard from behind him. Soujiro jumped slightly and immediately turning around simultaneously unsheathing his wakizashi only to find a squirrel scurrying out from under the bushes. He dropped his guard lightly letting the tension in his shoulders slack.

_Since when have I been so jumpy? I don't remember being this way even when I was assassinating someone._

Images of him screaming like a lunatic during his fight with Himura entered his mind. His hand holding his wakizashi shook and he dropped to one knee. Pointing his wakizashi down he stuck it into the ground leaning on it for support. A dull throbbing ache formed in his head. His free hand gently ruffled his hair rubbing his scalp unconsciously trying to ease the aching in vain. It's been only two days since his fight with Himura. Thoughts of the fight and any memories of that incident now makes him weak at his knees and brings pain to his head.

Then he felt it, something long lost and forgotten ever since he entered Shishio's service. Fear. It wasn't overwhelming but its there, like a slight churning letting you know of its presence. He just stared blankly at the sand on the ground unsure of what to make of the resurfacing of another old emotion.

_When was the last time I felt fear? Even if it is just a little bit._

The answer to the question came as a flood of images, of memories long suppressed. Memories that broke through during his fight with Himura. Memories that broke him there and then.

_Somebody help me! HELP ME!_

_Running. Running hard. Crying. Crying hard. Got to get away. They are going to kill me. I DON'T WANT TO DIE! _

_Survival of the fittest. The strong live and the weak die._

_A wakizashi. The wakizashi. My hand is holding onto the wakizashi. My hand is swinging the wakizashi. Red. There is so much red. Everything is red. Why is it red? WHY?_

_You have to find an answer for yourself._

_Himura. Himura is looking back at me. A smile. A sad and compassionate smile. Searching. Finding? Can I? Will I?_

REWIND….STOP….PLAY

_Somebody help me! HELP ME!_

_Running. Running hard. Crying. Crying hard. Got to get away. They are going to kill me. I DON'T WANT TO DIE! _

_Survival of the fittest. The strong live and the weak die._

_A wakizashi. The wakizashi. My hand is holding onto the wakizashi. My hand is swinging the wakizashi. Red. There is so much red. Everything is red. Why is it red? WHY?_

_You have to find an answer for yourself._

_Himura. Himura is looking back at me. A smile. A sad and compassionate smile. Searching. Finding? Can I? Will I?_

REWIND….STOP….PLAY

_Somebody help me! HELP ME!_

_Running. Running hard. Crying. Crying hard. Got to get away. They are going to kill me. I DON'T WANT TO DIE! _

_Survival of the fittest. The strong live and the weak die._

_A wakizashi. The wakizashi. My hand is holding onto the wakizashi. My hand is swinging the wakizashi. Red. There is so much red. Everything is red. Why is it red? WHY?_

_You have to find an answer for yourself._

_Himura. Himura is looking back at me. A smile. A sad and compassionate smile. Searching. Finding? Can I? Will I?_

REWIND….STOP….PAIN

Pain. Immeasurable pain attacked his head as the memories kept looping and reeling in his mind.

"AAAHHH!" Soujiro screamed at the top of his voice.

He gripped the hilt of his wakizashi hard trying to stop the violent trembling. Both knees are now on the ground. Letting go of his wakizashi he hunched over both hands clutching his head instinctively trying to relieve him of the pain that relentlessly assaults him. He curled further into a fetal position rolling around before releasing one final scream. That was all the poor young man could take. The darkness of the night and his mind claimed him.

Soujiro's vision was a blur. He could vaguely make out the riverbank and the surrounding vegetation. He blinked, trying to clear his vision. At the same time he tried to sit up. His head still has a dull ache from the assault of memories. Lightly gripping his forehead, he let out a small groan.

"Ugh, how long have I been out?" he wondered out loud. As his vision cleared up he could see that it was still dark.

"About 4 hours now," said someone softly. Soujiro immediately turned to the direction of the voice reaching for his wakizashi only to find it missing from its usual place at his hip.

"Ara?"

Soujiro in his dazed state didn't notice that he had company. There was a girl seated with her back on a tree looking at him. There was even a small fire set up separating the both of them. Most importantly his wakizashi was leaning on her shoulder away from him. Obviously she was trying to keep it away from him. He frowned slightly thinking of making a move. Before he could do anything, girl tilts her head to the side in an observing manner. Emerald eyes with flecks of amber from the fire looked intently at him.

"What happened to your smile?"

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** hello people im back with another chapter! Soujiro wakes up with company!

**"Oro" object: **thank you for your review though i'm actually a mr. rather than a miss. is it the pen name that gives you the impression that im a girl? haha

**Queen Dark Raven: **i'm glad you enjoyed it. i enjoyed writing it! there will be plenty more to go so no worries:D

**RK Otaku:** thank you for your words. I'm aware of him returning the wakizashi to Shishio. there is astory why he has another one which will be revealed later on. not in this chapter though. so bear with for the time being k? hehe

**Disclaimer: **i dont own Rurounin Kenshin.

On with the story!

_Soujiro in his dazed state didn't notice that he had company. There was a girl seated with her back on a tree looking at him. There was even a small fire set up separating the both of them. Most importantly his wakizashi was leaning on her shoulder away from him. Obviously she was trying to keep it away from him. He frowned slightly thinking of making a move. Before he could do anything, girl tilts her head to the side in an observing manner. Emerald eyes with flecks of amber from the fire looked intently at him._

_"What happened to your smile?"_

* * *

Chapter 2 

"Ara?" Soujiro responded blinking. He was stunned. What was wrong with his smile?

"What kind of response is that! Ara! That sounds so stupid! And answer the damn question already!" huffed the girl.

Needless to say Soujiro was starting to get ticked off. It was new to him. He was starting to feel the irritation he felt back when he was fighting Himura that lead to his breakdown. First the girl takes his sword. Then she proceeds to question his smile. After which he gets insulted. The girl really doesn't know whom she is dealing with.

_She will soon find out_

"My smile is just fine. Return me my wakizashi." It wasn't a request.

"It's not there," she replied curiously, tilting her head to the other side now. Soujiro's eyebrow twitched slightly.

"You are holding on to my wakizashi," Soujiro said dangerously. The girl however seemed oblivious to the threat. She stared defiantly at him.

"I know that! Duh! I was the one who took it when you passed out! I was talking about your smile! Its not there!" she shouted. She motioned for him to take a look in the river.

Soujiro blinked again at this. He got up, walked over to the water's edge once again and peered into the river. What he saw baffled him.

His hair was tousled from the emotional fit he went through. His eyes were a little red and his cheeks stained with tears he didn't know he shed. Though that wasn't what baffled him. His smile was gone. What replaced it was just a pair of lips closed forming a straight line. Not curving up in his usual grin or the twisted one he saw earlier. He raised a hand to his lips using his fingers to push the edge of his mouth up hoping to form somewhat of a smile. The moment he let go his mouth went back to the straight line. He willed himself to smile. All that he saw was twitching of the corners of his mouth. What the hell is happening? He doesn't understand it getting confused.

"So?" Soujiro turned around at the sound of the softly asked question. The girl had gotten up and followed him to the riverbank.

"What would you know about my smile? Now hand over the wakizashi," snapped Soujiro. The girl's eyes widen.

"You don't recognize me Tenken," she said again ignoring his demand for his sword.

_So she knows who I am. Now when I think about it she does look familiar._

At this point Soujiro took a more careful look at her. She was about the same height as him, probably slightly shorter. She has the same dark bluish black hair like him only a lot longer and tied in a neat braid which extends all the way past her hips. She has emerald eyes that are peering at him right now looking for a sign of recognition.

"You look…. familiar," he mumbled.

"I was there when you first fought Himura," she said. Finally something clicked in Soujiro.

"Ah you are Makimachi Misao," Soujiro replied. She nods cheerfully.

"Well now that we are reintroduced," Soujiro started, taking a step forward pointing to the sword in Misao's hand by her side. " How about I take back the wakizashi?"

Misao regarded him carefully, "what do you intend to do with it?"

"Why don't I show it to you?"

Just as he finished his question, Soujiro made his move. He appeared only as a blur to Misao as he dash towards her side where the sword hung. Before she could react, she heard the sound of a sword unsheathed, pressure on her back and the feel of cold steel on her neck.

"I may have lost my smile but I assure you my skills are as sharp as ever. I could kill you if I wanted to," Soujiro whispered coldly.

If it weren't for the severity of the situation Misao would have blushed. Soujiro had her in a firm grip by the waist, his chest on her back, sword arm wrapped around her and his lips right next to her ear. For a moment Misao was frozen wide-eyed half in amazement at his speed even though she has seen it before, half in fear of what's going to happen. She slowly turned her head to glance at Soujiro. Fear and amazement weren't the only emotions running in her. Anger was also surfacing. She gave him an angry defiant look.

"You don't want to. If you did, you would have already done it. I know what happened. I heard all about it from Sano," she said calmly despite all the emotions running in her.

Soujiro's sword arm jerked slightly at hearing this causing a nick at Misao's neck. Misao twitched slightly at the cut. Soujiro realizing what he did relaxed his sword arm and let his sword drop to his side. He released his grip on her waist and gave her a gentle push on her back to create some space between them. Misao stumbled and spun around in a huff, annoyed at being shoved despite it being gentle. Soujiro extended his free hand.

"The sheath, if you may," Soujiro requested. Only at this point did Misao realize that she was still holding on to it.

_The bastard didn't snatch the whole thing from me! He unsheathed it with me still holding on to it!_

Misao gave him an annoyed look and tossed the sheath over to him. Soujiro caught it with his free hand and in one smooth swift motion he sheathed his sword. Without a word he turned around and made his way back to the fire. He then took up position like how he found Misao when he just woke up, seated back against the tree with his wakizashi propped on his shoulder.

"Hey! That's my spot!" Misao shouted with her arms flailing and her feet stomping on the ground. Soujiro just gave her a blank look. She made her way back fuming and grumbling and plopped herself down in front of the fire. She gave him a dirty look crossed her arms and pointing her nose high up releasing a loud 'hmmph'. Soujiro chuckles at the display.

"What are you doing out here Makimachi-san?" Soujiro inquired. Misao raised an eyebrow at him.

"Misao," she replied.

"What?"

"Call me Misao."

"Hai, Misao-san." Even though he said it, it felt weird. He was rarely familiar enough with anyone to call them by their given name. Here this girl, a former enemy, requests that he do so.

She unfolded her arms leaned back with her left arm supporting her weight. She looked up and tapped her fingers on her lips in thought.

"I told you earlier that Sano told me about what happened. I guess it's been a lot and I wanted to be alone to reflect on everything that happened. The experience with so many of us hurt and some close to dying was overwhelming."

"Though why here?"

"Actually I didn't intend on coming here. I was just taking a walk on the other side of the vegetation when I heard some screaming. I ran in thinking someone might need help. Then I saw you rolling around right before you passed out. I figured from what I heard you might be having another breakdown. Seeing you passed out and with the night getting colder I couldn't leave you lying like that even if you used to be an enemy."

"I see. You spent 4 hours here watching over me."

Misao just nods.

"I could have killed you when I woke up."

"I had your sword."

"I have other ways to kill you besides using my wakizashi," Soujiro stated flatly.

"But you didn't."

"You have too much faith," said Soujiro giving her a sidelong glance.

Again she raised her eyebrow at him.

"Is it wrong to have faith in the goodness in people?" she asked.

" I don't know. It could be dangerous though," he replied quietly.

"I'll take the risk. The way I see it, it's worth it."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Is that your truth?"

"What is?"

"Living with faith that people are good."

"Yes. I believe that if you show kindness to people it will be returned. Just like earlier on when you didn't kill me."

Soujiro kept quiet at this. Misao looked at him searching for signs or hints of what might be going on in his head. Soujiro, aware of the scrutiny, lowered his head in a way where his hair hid his eyes. Misao frowned at this. For a while the silence kept up with Soujiro in his own world and Misao, hugging her knees, just staring at the fire.

"Would the reverse then be true as well?" Soujiro asked suddenly after stretch of silence.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Misao asked slightly confused.

"If you showed people evil that it would be returned," he explained.

"Hmm. I don't know. I never thought of it that way before," Misao replied with a thoughtful expression on her face. Soujiro gave a deadpan look.

_This girl is really too kind and good-natured. Wonder what a person like her is doing being a ninja._

"Hey Soujiro… um," she started saying with a curious look on her face. Soujiro flinched slightly at the easiness in the way she addressed him in such a familiar term.

"Yes?" he asked wondering what she wants to say.

"Uh… how come you are still in Kyoto? Isn't it dangerous for you to be sticking around here with the police and the government looking for you?" she asked hesitantly not sure whether she should poke her nose into it. Soujiro blinked and stared blankly at her.

_Really too kind…Our groups were just fighting each other the other day and now she's worried whether I'm going to get caught by the authorities. I hope I'll meet more people like her when I leave this place. A lot different from the people I've known all of my life. I guess there is a lot more out there for me to discover than what I have only been exposed to. It's refreshing and puts me at ease._

"Ok fine. You don't have to answer if you don't want to," she grumbled, sulking a little and looking away. "I know it's none of my business."

That pulled him out of his thoughts realizing he hasn't answered the questions.

"I'm sorry Misao-san. I was just thinking."

"About?"

"About you being too kind Misao-san," he replied honestly giving her a small but sincere smile. She blushed in slight embarrassment at hearing his words.

"I was doing preparations," Soujiro continued answering her questions.

"Oh."

"Anyway Misao-san, it's late. Why don't you head back to the Aoiya?" Soujiro asked getting up and tying his sword back at his waist.

"Do you find my company boring or something?" she asked shooting him an angry look. Soujiro's eyebrow twitched a little at the response. He rose up his hands in a reassuring manner.

"It isn't like that Misao-san. I have delayed leaving Kyoto long enough and don't you think it's easier to slip out this late at night?"

"Well perhaps that's true," she replied getting up herself and dusting her bottom. Soujiro kicked dirt into the fire to extinguish it. Once he was done both made their way together silently through the vegetation to the road. Upon reaching the road, they turned to each other about to say their farewells.

"I enjoyed your company tonight Misao-san," Soujiro began sincerely. Misao smiled at his words blushing slightly. "And thank you for what you have done for me tonight." He completed. Misao blushed even further at that.

"I am glad I could help," she replied simply not really sure what else to say in return. With that Soujiro smiled once more before turning around and slowly walked off.

"Ja, Misao-san," he said while walking without turning back.

"Soujiro! Wait a second," Misao called after him. Soujiro stopped and looked over his shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"I hope you find your own answers someday," Misao said compassionately. She saw him smile but it was a sad one.

"Thank you. I hope so myself," he replied with a tone matching his expression. Soujiro faced the road once again and carried on walking.

Misao just stood there watching him walk away, hearing the sounds of the same soft footsteps that laced the winds earlier that evening.

_I wonder what's to become of him. He was different tonight from the Soujiro I first saw and the Soujiro I heard from Sano._

* * *

**A/N:**for some reason even though i had alot of fun writing this chapter it didnt really satisfy me.i felt that something was off with this chapter. perhaps some constructive critciism would help. let me know if there something about this chapter that didnt work for you. i could be blind to a few things over here. im starting out with the next chapter tom so prob about a week or so before i load up the next chapter. 


End file.
